Going Home
by oursolemnhour49
Summary: Two tributes are left; there can only be one victor. I know it, and so does Rue. That doesn't make what we have to do any easier. -AU, multiple character deaths. Draws from both the film and the book.- One-shot.


_"Though this might just be the ending of the life I held so dear, I won't run; there's no turning back from here."_

_-Within Temptation, 'Stand My Ground'_

* * *

When the cannon struck again, I jumped, and Rue, who was sound asleep and snuggled next to me, stirred a little. I watched the sky and wondered who it was. Earlier in the day four tributes went down. One died in the explosion I caused, as he was coming back to see what the trouble was. Then when the rest came back, the guard who survived had his neck broken. Among the Careers there's apparently no patience for error. I didn't know what happened to the other two. For some reason it troubled me that I didn't know; there was a compulsive urge to find out what took them, just so I could document it in case I need to avoid whatever mistake they made. But I couldn't think about that, because of the girl at my side.

I needed to decide what to do about her, and soon. There were only five tributes left, and only one victor. There can only be one victor. I didn't want to think about that, but sooner or later it will come down to a breach. Alliances are only temporary. Haymitch may have perpetually soused, but my mentor was right in that at least. He kept drilling it into me that an alliance can only last for so long.

I wished I'd listened to him now.

When Rue had appeared out of the treetops, giving me the hint of what I needed to do to get rid of the four tributes who had treed me after a forest, I'd been impressed, and glad. At that point I'd been running around the arena for almost three days. When you spend three days alone knowing that anyone you encounter may kill you, it makes you horribly lonely. Wary and nervous, yes, but the loneliness of being constantly hunted is almost worse. In normal times, in normal places, you can count on people to help you, support you. Here, in the arena, when you see someone, you have to run.

And so when I saw someone who was trying to help, I accepted it. I was so glad to have someone beside me, someone human who could help remind me that the world was more than children killing each other, that I never thought about the rules of the world I was in right now.

Here in the arena, children do kill each other. They have to.

Easing Rue away from me, I sat upright and stared at the trees. If she woke and asked me what I'm doing, I was keeping watch, I decided. And my decision on that lie made what I was actually doing all the worse, since I was trying to decide if I should kill her.

On the one hand, I had to get home. I was the only one who brought food home consistently enough to keep us alive. I knew the black market, I knew who bought, and I knew what rules the Peacekeepers would bend and which ones they would enforce. My younger sister, the one for whom I stepped into this place, didn't know how to hunt. I didn't want her to have to know. I didn't want her to have to feel like the only way she could leave was by hiding and running. I was hoping, back home, that she might have a chance at something better. I was hoping that once I got past Reaping age, I would be able to give my family something better and stronger. If I go back home now, I'll be able to give them so much. The Victor's spoils are enough to keep my family in good living for as long they're alive.

But then I thought about getting rid of Rue. I think about raising my bow, aiming down the shaft of an arrow, looking into her large eyes and gentle face that reminds me so much of my younger sister, and shooting to kill.

The thought makes my stomach turn.

Perhaps I could leave. If I slipped off quietly, she would know that I'd ended our alliance. It might be better to do that; sneak off in the night like a thief. After all, I'd finally paid off my debt to her. She saved me from the tracker-jacker stings, when I was going half-mad from the venom, and earlier today I had saved her life when she was caught in a net that the Careers had rigged near their supplies. One of the Careers, a powerfully built boy who obviously expected to go home a winner, had come up to the net with his spear.

He should have known an arrow is faster than a spear.

Wincing, I shut my eyes at the memory. I received credit for the death of Glimmer, another Career, after I crashed the tracker jacker nest. But I was hallucinating by that point, and don't even recall the incident clearly. I wasn't even thinking about killing any of them; I'd just wanted to escape the trap I was caught in. That boy earlier today was different. He was the first death I'd wrought with full intention of killing. I'd set my sights, aimed, and shot to kill.

I didn't regret it, but the image wouldn't go away. I didn't remember falling asleep, but at least the picture of the boy collapsing didn't follow me into my dreams.

When I opened my eyes, the sky was unnaturally bright and clear. Rue was awake and watching me. She was munching the remnants of some of the game I had caught the previous day, and I found myself wondering if she was thinking of how fragile our alliance was. Perhaps she was going to wait for the right moment to stab me in the back.

In a perverse way, I almost wished she would do just that. It would be easier, take the decision out of my hands. Though that would be a pathetic end for the tribute who had been dubbed "The Girl on Fire," I found myself liking that possibility more and more. I wouldn't have to blame myself. I wouldn't have to live with myself after all this had ended.

As we crept through the woods, I kept trying to find a way to break the silence. I had to let her know that we would have to split, that this partnership simply could not last. Every time I opened my mouth, the words stuck in my throat. If I split from her now, I was leaving her to the Careers. It would be good as killing her, and it would be a cowardly thing to do. It might also be the only way to avoid killing her myself.

The sharp crack of a stick caught my ear, and I spun around, nocking an arrow. Rue had frozen for a split second and then slipped behind a nearby tree trunk. I turned slowly, waiting.

A flash of movement in the corner of my left eye came accompanied by the clumsy cracking of underbrush. Whoever was following us must have come upon us suddenly; there was no way someone so clumsy could be much of a tracker. The sound was within a few feet of me, and almost behind me. I dropped to my knees, caught a glimpse of a heavy hooked scythe raised high, took aim and loosed the arrow.

The attacker dropped without a sound, and the cannon announcing tribute deaths boomed. Rue stared with wide eyes, and then gasped. "Oh, Katniss."

I moved forward, slowly. When I saw the tousled blond hair and staring blue eyes, I felt as though I'd been punched in the stomach. I'd just shot down Peeta.

Peeta was from my home district, but had joined up with the Careers very early on in the Games. That had stung a bit, since part of his act in the Capitol had been that he had had a crush on me, had been in love with me. I had been of two minds about whether or not that crush was genuine, but I guessed I would never know now. I looked at the weapon in his hand. Had he been attacking us? On the run? I nocked another arrow and looked around. Rue was still staring, and I knew she was afraid, and confused. She had seen the interviews, heard the angle of "star-crossed lovers," and I think she had wanted to believe it, just a little. She was young enough to hope that there could be love in a place where killing was the only rule.

Since no one else emerged from the woods, I slowly lowered the bow and arrow. I could only assume that Peeta had been trying to attack us, since there was clearly no one on his trail. I wondered what had prompted that. Desperation, maybe, the wild notion that he could take me down quickly in one stroke, and thus save himself later pain.

I didn't blame him, if that had been his train of thought. I couldn't blame myself too much either. If his stroke had landed, Rue would have been left alone.

Even as I thought that, I felt ill all over again. Every kill I'd made had been made with Rue at my side, and thought this latest one had been from instinct, and would probably haunt me later, I knew that I was killing with at least the subconscious idea of keeping Rue safe.

Then the sky darkened. I shivered, and Rue drew closer to me, her small hands trembling. "Katniss," she said slowly. "Katniss, listen."

I did. There were faint cracking sounds in the underbrush some hundred or so yards away. Immediately my arrow was back on my bow. I scanned the trees, my heart pounding like it wanted to explode out of my chest. It was the aftershock of killing someone I knew, I supposed, but I could not let it touch me now. For now I had to deal with the threat that was approaching.

A growl seemed to fly out of the shadows, followed by an animal like nothing I'd ever seen. It was like an enormous deformed dog, with huge heavy shoulders and a low-slung head, short stubby legs, and vicious tiny eyes. It was as though the creature had come out of the ground.

I waited until it was running at me, so swiftly that it could not possibly change course, then fired. The arrow went straight through the eye, and the creature fell, landing in a huge nightlock bush that stood some feet between me and the mutt. I stared at it. Since I knew almost every form of predatory wildlife from the woods back home and this didn't fit any natural animal, I knew this had to be some sort of Capitol creation.

Turning back to Rue, I heard another snarl, this time some distance away in the trees to my right.

"Katniss, we have to go!" Rue's eyes were wide. "Come on, we need to get into the trees and climb!"

My first thought had been to go back to the Cornucopia, which we had skirted only a few minutes ago, but Rue was most likely right. A scream came from the Cornucopia, and somewhere in the distance, I could hear more cries. Rue and I sprinted into the woods. She glanced around wildly and then began to shinny up a tree almost as quickly as a cat, her dark eyes darting from branch to branch. "Over there!" she hissed. "See, that split tree by that huge knobbly one! You can climb that!"

There was a large oak that forked in the middle and leaned sharply to one side. I would have to brace myself between the trunks to get to the point where I could grab the nearest branch, and even then that was going to be a bit of a climb. I didn't let myself think about it. Running forward, I tossed my backpack as high on my shoulders as possible and began to scramble up the tree. Growls were coming from the small clearing where Rue and I had been standing, and I knew I didn't have much time. Rue's high-pitched warning rang almost dully in my ears. I could hear the growls as well as she. Grimly I focused on the branch that was some four feet away. There was nothing but bare trunk between me and the branch, and I didn't have much upper body muscle.

Snapping came at my heels, and I could hear scratching on the tree trunk below me. Shutting my eyes, I concentrated on hauling myself up. The branch was so close. Solid and high, I could pick off the mutts from that perch. I just had to get there.

My left hand, which was braced on the tree trunk, slipped, and my right went flailing. My heart was in my mouth, but my slip had let my hand go further than it could have on the trunk. I caught the branch, swung out over the ground for a sickening second, then swung my leg up and over the branch.

Getting my balance, I began picking off the animals. There were three of them below my tree, and I wondered vaguely why none of them had noticed Rue, who was a few trees away, watching intently. I heard the cannon boom twice, and tried not to think about it. Cato and Clove, the two remaining Careers, must have met their end at the hands of these things. Or perhaps something worse.

I shot down the last mutt and took a moment to catch my breath. I remembered the shock of shooting Peeta and suddenly wondered if there was any hope for him. Perhaps I'd missed him, or nicked him. Had the cannon gone off? The snarls had started directly after I'd shot him down, so perhaps there hadn't been a gun. He must have been running from the creatures, I realized tiredly. I dropped out of the tree.

Rue gave a little shriek. "Katniss, wait! What are you doing?"

I didn't say anything. Though I hadn't loved Peeta, I owed him. He'd once fed me, when my family and I were in dire straits after my father's death. I couldn't have killed him. Denial was sinking in, though I didn't recognize it as such. Surely he was still alive.

When I reached the clearing, it was empty. There was a faint splotch of blood on the grass where he had fallen, but nothing else. His body had been carried away.

Numb, I turned over my bow in my hands. Rue came up behind me silently and put an arm around my waist. It was so much like my younger sister comforting me when I'd had a bad hunting day that I felt tears coming to my eyes. Going home after this would be a nightmare. I would have to face the stares of everyone around me for killing the boy who'd declared that he loved me. It wouldn't even matter that it might have been a ploy to gain sponsors, or that I didn't necessarily return those feelings. All that would matter was that I had marked myself as a true Tribute now, one who had chosen life over love. That was how people would see me, regardless of whether or not it was true.

The sudden small hand fumbling at my side brought me out of my reverie, but I was still too slow to understand what had happened. Then I saw Rue move to stand in front of me. Tears were streaming down her face and she had my knife clutched in her hand.

Somehow the sight of the knife in her hand made me smile, albeit bitterly. She looked so unsure of what to do with it. The serrated edge looked dulled, and since the thing was almost as thick as Rue's wrist, it just looked wrong. She looked like a small child trying to lift a heavy tool, and I had seen enough of those in my home district.

"I'm sorry," she choked. "I'm really, really sorry, Katniss. My mentor told me that you might help me, that you were the only one who might. He told me that you were the only one who might let me live long enough for me to have a chance. I didn't realize everyone else would die so quick. I thought it would take longer. I didn't think…"

"You didn't think you would have to kill me," I finished for her. "See, I did think about this, Rue. I did think that I might have to kill you."

I reached for my bow and she gasped, drawing back. Terror was obvious on her face, and I bit my lip. It would be so easy. She was fast, and she did have my knife, so she could be called a danger. Even if she was no threat to me, one of us would have to walk away. She had no one to watch out for. I did. I had my mother and sister to go home to, and I couldn't leave them.

The arrows were so close, and I reached for one. I hated myself for even touching the feathers, but told myself I could. More than anything I wanted to live. "Why couldn't you have done this?" I whispered. My hands were shaking. "Why couldn't you have just killed me without saying anything?"

Tears filled my eyes, blurring Rue. I blinked angrily, thinking fiercely of Prim and how badly she would need my help when I got home. I would have to explain to her that I had killed Peeta because I thought he was attacking me, that I had killed Rue because there had been no other choice. I bit my lip. If only Rue had just killed me or left me to die back at the tracker-jacker nest, none of this would matter.

That was when I realized that I was blaming Rue for not doing something I was clearly unable to do myself. I couldn't bring myself to kill her now, and I knew then, with sudden certainty. I would never be able to kill Rue.

I looked at her for a long time, thinking about our alliance. Eleven and Twelve, two districts that had never had much of a chance in the Games before, were now the only two options for victory. At any other time, had I not been here, I would have seen this as a sign that maybe there was hope even for the smallest and poorest folk to fight back and gain something from the mess that was our land.

But I knew differently now. Now, whoever won would be hated by the other's district. The reason all our districts were included in this pageant was not to unite us, but to divide us, pit us against each other, keep us thinking only of our own land, our own survival. When I looked at Rue, however, I knew with complete certainty that my own survival would not be enough. If I survived here, I would be the most hated Victor in the history of the Games. No one could honor as a hero the girl who had shot down a crying child. I wondered fleetingly if the Gamemakers had planned this, as a way of brutally reminding everyone watching that even though Eleven and Twelve had made an unlikely alliance and survived, in the end it was no use. Even if I was the girl on fire, my flames would be quenched, and by my own hand.

I couldn't know. Whatever was going on in the Gamemakers' heads was beyond me, but I was suddenly sure that they expected me to take my bow and arrow and shoot down Rue. If they had thought otherwise, they would have sent more mutts, something to take me out and leave Rue alive. The fact that they were leaving us alone and waiting meant that they expected me to shoot. No one watching Rue and I could delude themselves that Rue had a prayer of stabbing me before I shot her.

As if to confirm her own helplessness, Rue dropped the knife suddenly. She said nothing, but the look on her face was clear: she could not do it.

I reached over my shoulder, and Rue froze, eyes shut tight and fists clenched. I shut my own eyes for a minute, remembering Peeta, Prim, and the boy I had shot. I looked at Rue again, and slowly lifted the quiver off my shoulders. "Rue, look at me."

She did so, slowly. I set the bow and arrow on the ground, and then the quiver. I felt almost as though I was floating, walking on air without anything to breathe. My heart was the only noise in my ears now, and as I raised my hand to snap some berries off the nightlock bush where the mutt lay dead, I took a moment to marvel at my hands. The veins were just visible, the bones fine and delicately attached, yet strong and able to climb a tree or break a branch. My lungs were a marvel too, filling with air, fueling my body, and releasing in a steady rhythm that kept my blood red and my muscles strong. I looked at the dark berries in my hand, and then turned back to Rue.

"You're going to win," I said softly. "I know."

Rue stared from the berries in my hand to my face, and I knew she understood. There was no fight in her face, and I knew she was leaping at survival. I could not blame her, though I wanted to resent her a little for not even protesting. But I couldn't find it in me to do that, not as I kept looking at her and seeing Prim in her slight form, her beautiful eyes, and her trembling mouth.

"Why?" Rue asked at last. The sky had begun to light again, and I wondered bitterly how much they would edit out of our speeches, our last words. My last words.

"I don't want to do what they expect," I said softly. "I want to live, yes. I want to live more than anything. But they expect me to kill you. They want me to look at you and kill you and go on to victory. They want to show that the only way that we can win is by destroying each other."

My voice was steadier now, and suddenly I no longer felt constricted. I'd had unrest, unease at how I lived in the District, under the shadow of a place that killed children as entertainment and a sign of power. Now I wouldn't need to feel that anymore. "I don't believe that," I went on. "They want a Victor, so they'll get one. They'll get one because of one Tribute helping another. Not because of a Tribute killing another."

I looked at the berries in my hand, and raised them slowly. My hands were trembling, and cowardly as it was after my brave words, I lowered them again. Words to delay my end came to me, but at least they were ones I wanted to say. "Rue, I went in here to keep my sister alive. I didn't want to see her here. Then I met you and it was like all that had been in vain. I don't want that to be the case."

"I'm not your sister, though." Her voice was choked.

I shook my head. "No. But you're still the reason I went into the arena. So I wouldn't see someone like you in this place. If Prim were here, I'd want her out no matter the cost. So I'm going to do the same for you." I felt light-headed now. The strange adrenaline-like rush was coming again. Death was so very close. "Rue? Tell her I'm sorry. And tell her that this is the best way."

Before Rue could respond, I shoved the berries into my mouth and bit down hard. They were bitter, with a strangely sweet tang. I let out a breath, and then remembered my pin. "Take this," I hissed, and lifted the flap of my jacket to reveal the mockingjay token.

I sank to my knees, and through a swirl of black and color, I saw Rue step towards me. My chest seized up and constricted.

Had I made the right choice? I watched Rue take the pin off my coat, and clench her fist as the aircraft swooped down to carry her to her interview, her victory. I saw her clench the pin tight in her fist and saw her eyes harden, turning to brown flame. And in that last instant, I saw her catch my fire, the fire that people had said I burned with when I volunteered for my sister and stepped into the arena. As my eyes closed, I smiled. It was good to know that there would be another girl on fire. Perhaps when she went home, she could spread that flame to others. She would be living proof that the arena could be beaten. That was good to know.

Darkness and light mingled, and Rue's face flickered and faded to be replaced by Prim's and my mother's. It was nice to know that the journey was quick. I was finally going home.

* * *

**So this is not quite as in-depth as I would have liked to go into this turn of events (if I had the time, I could re-write the whole series with Rue as the new "girl on fire"), and I know that Katniss using nightlock is not the most original idea in the world, but I felt like writing this after watching the movie again. Thank you for reading!**


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